This was so beautiful Brandi! I, too, have been trying to eliminate the words "good" and "bad" when speaking to my children and their worth/behavior/actions. I need to work on doing so with myself as I typically relate my worth to how "good" I am. Thank God for His grace and love in all our struggles!
Amen to this! So much of parenting my child is really learning to parent myself. I second God's grace in this - He is giving us a second (and third, and one thousandth) chance. ❤️❤️❤️
Brandi, your new piece of writing came when I was busy gardening. I had a quick peek and was so looking forward to being able to come back and read it! Yet another wonderful piece of writing filled with your love for your son, beauty, joy and the somewhat annoying reality of the necessity of discipline... even at 4. I'd find it hard to not want to wander off with your son, discovering the ants and holes, and alllll the interesting things. Discipline is haaaard for me, haha. Sounds like you found a beautiful balance there though. I really appreciate the contemplations at the end. This week my goal is to get back into my daily walk and pray routine, and God willing, I'll contemplate some of your points. Thank you 🌹
Bobbi, thank you so much for your kind thoughts and taking the time to write this! I hope that this week is fruitful for you, however much you are able to walk and pray. Gardening is a great place to do those things, too - sometimes the best avenue, better than anywhere else. Wishing you a beautiful week and thinking especially of you today. ❤️❤️
Ah, so much here. It's difficult not to look back on the parenting of my 4 children, especially in their earliest years, and all the things I wished I'd done differently. So much of my interactions with them, instruction, discipline, expectations etc. were far more about me and my own insecurities than for the sheer good of my children. The prayer you shared about not crushing your child, is particularly poignant. My ongoing prayer these days is "please fill up all that's lacking my fatherhood. Protect them from my ignorance and sinfulness". Being a father is the hardest thing I've ever done. It both shatters me to pieces and fills me with unparalleled joy and gratitude. It's occurred to me on more than one occasion that I'd probably imagine myself a pretty good person if I didn't have a family. They constantly serve as a mirror for me in which I see the depths of my selfishness and pride. I've come to realize they are a gift from God for my salvation and in some inexplicable way, I am for theirs.
I've also struggled, as a recovering "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God" influenced Christian, with unrealistic expectations of my "performance" toward God. I've been Orthodox for almost 12 years now but still have vestiges of distortions about God I'm learning to shake. Something I've found particular comfort in is a quote from St. John Maximovich who said,
"God’s grace always assists those who struggle, but this does not mean that a struggler is always in the position of a victor. Sometimes in the arena the wild animals did not touch the righteous ones, but by no means were they all preserved untouched. What is important is not victory or the position of a victor, but rather the labor of striving towards God and devotion to Him."
Yes to everything you so vulnerably shared here. Parenting is the hardest, most painful mirror I have ever held up to myself. I look through it "darkly" now, but I pray that someday, perhaps on the other side of this life, God might help me see not how my failings affected the world, but how this one precious life did. You are absolutely right that our salvation is right where we are - all of it, every child, our parents, every gift and hardship, nothing arbitrary or wasted. *** That's a wonderful quote by St. John Maximovich which I have never read before. Thank you for sharing it as it is so timely and applicable!
I’m a big believer in the power of “showing up”. Some of my kids are athletically gifted. Some are totally not. All of them have learned a lot from showing up to help their team and try their best- even if they’re not the best player. So much of life is simply about making the effort to try in the first place- not about being the best.
This was so beautiful Brandi! I, too, have been trying to eliminate the words "good" and "bad" when speaking to my children and their worth/behavior/actions. I need to work on doing so with myself as I typically relate my worth to how "good" I am. Thank God for His grace and love in all our struggles!
Amen to this! So much of parenting my child is really learning to parent myself. I second God's grace in this - He is giving us a second (and third, and one thousandth) chance. ❤️❤️❤️
Brandi, your new piece of writing came when I was busy gardening. I had a quick peek and was so looking forward to being able to come back and read it! Yet another wonderful piece of writing filled with your love for your son, beauty, joy and the somewhat annoying reality of the necessity of discipline... even at 4. I'd find it hard to not want to wander off with your son, discovering the ants and holes, and alllll the interesting things. Discipline is haaaard for me, haha. Sounds like you found a beautiful balance there though. I really appreciate the contemplations at the end. This week my goal is to get back into my daily walk and pray routine, and God willing, I'll contemplate some of your points. Thank you 🌹
Bobbi, thank you so much for your kind thoughts and taking the time to write this! I hope that this week is fruitful for you, however much you are able to walk and pray. Gardening is a great place to do those things, too - sometimes the best avenue, better than anywhere else. Wishing you a beautiful week and thinking especially of you today. ❤️❤️
Ah, so much here. It's difficult not to look back on the parenting of my 4 children, especially in their earliest years, and all the things I wished I'd done differently. So much of my interactions with them, instruction, discipline, expectations etc. were far more about me and my own insecurities than for the sheer good of my children. The prayer you shared about not crushing your child, is particularly poignant. My ongoing prayer these days is "please fill up all that's lacking my fatherhood. Protect them from my ignorance and sinfulness". Being a father is the hardest thing I've ever done. It both shatters me to pieces and fills me with unparalleled joy and gratitude. It's occurred to me on more than one occasion that I'd probably imagine myself a pretty good person if I didn't have a family. They constantly serve as a mirror for me in which I see the depths of my selfishness and pride. I've come to realize they are a gift from God for my salvation and in some inexplicable way, I am for theirs.
I've also struggled, as a recovering "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God" influenced Christian, with unrealistic expectations of my "performance" toward God. I've been Orthodox for almost 12 years now but still have vestiges of distortions about God I'm learning to shake. Something I've found particular comfort in is a quote from St. John Maximovich who said,
"God’s grace always assists those who struggle, but this does not mean that a struggler is always in the position of a victor. Sometimes in the arena the wild animals did not touch the righteous ones, but by no means were they all preserved untouched. What is important is not victory or the position of a victor, but rather the labor of striving towards God and devotion to Him."
Yes to everything you so vulnerably shared here. Parenting is the hardest, most painful mirror I have ever held up to myself. I look through it "darkly" now, but I pray that someday, perhaps on the other side of this life, God might help me see not how my failings affected the world, but how this one precious life did. You are absolutely right that our salvation is right where we are - all of it, every child, our parents, every gift and hardship, nothing arbitrary or wasted. *** That's a wonderful quote by St. John Maximovich which I have never read before. Thank you for sharing it as it is so timely and applicable!
I’m a big believer in the power of “showing up”. Some of my kids are athletically gifted. Some are totally not. All of them have learned a lot from showing up to help their team and try their best- even if they’re not the best player. So much of life is simply about making the effort to try in the first place- not about being the best.
Absolutely agree! ❤️
Also, thank you all for reading, despite the typos that I just found. 😑 It never fails, but at least I'm human! 😂
Here I am, weeping at our dining table over a morning coffee & bread, as I see myself and my own son in your precious boy's pink face...
Beautiful words. Thank you mama. I am overjoyed to share His crown.
😭😭 Thank you for this. We weep and share together. Thank you. ❤️❤️